How fat are you going to let that kid get?

So, I was staring at possibly the fattest kid in the world. Don't worry, he was staring back at me. He raises one eyebrow and I wonder what's going on in his 2 year old fat brain. I refuse to look away because I can't let this kid win. I am the grown-up, it only makes sense that I should win. So the game is on. The mother of this child is not paying a bit of attention to what her fat son is doing;opting to read a magazine full of celebrity lives. So I remember what used to scare the crap out of me as a child and I have that as arsenal and know I will win this ridiculous game going on with this fat baby. It is then, at the exact moment I am going to use the magic the fat baby sticks out his tongue. What? How did he know the secret? That's okay, I am sure I can win this. No smiling to let this obese kid know I am not playing. He is not smiling because he already hates me. I realize at that moment I have the squint to trump the tongue. I use it, oh yeah, and the rewards of that one move is amazing. Not only does fat baby tear up, he grabs his mother with his fat little sausage hand fingers and starts crying. I do not give in to this kid and keep the look going until I can see the mother is about to turn around to see what is making her fat baby cry. I look at the "As Seen On Tv" shelf that adorn every shelf of any store across the nation. She looks back to see what has made her fat baby cry and I slowly look right at her. She smiles at me and I still keep my stoic look. She turns around because she know's it is me that has made her fat baby cry and that was like a double win. Oh yes, I am the winner. I wonder how she stuffed his little fat legs in the baby seat built in the basket. I know that it is going to be hard to get him out of that and I start to giggle. I hope that I am lucky enough to be there to watch this. I look and see that everything in her basket is a fat kids paradise and realize this kid is only going to get bigger. I wonder if he can walk or crawl yet.